I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize