i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
