hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
