I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
