They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
