My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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