I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
