Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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