You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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