Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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