why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
