im holly from the hills drunk
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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