I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
