Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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