you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
