He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
