Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
