in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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