TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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