I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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