what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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