Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
