You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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