so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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