either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
