living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
