The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
