Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Boobs are out for the taking
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
