I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
