hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
