don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
