Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
