U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
