This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
