And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
