Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
My ATM looks so different sober.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize