READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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