Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
