Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Blood and glitter go together right?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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