I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Randomize
