some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
