The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
