Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I don't deserve a penis
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize
