Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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