It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
