singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
