i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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