how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
