Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize