moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
