tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
