it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
