You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
