Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
