Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
