I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
