My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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