youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
