i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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